Have you ever felt that you cannotspeak your mind because you are too scared to hurt other people or be perceived wrong? When did you feel that way? Is there a specific situation or a certain person that makes you feel like this? Identifying the situation or person that puts us in this dilemma is important so that you can take over the control to change.
We don't speak our mind if we haven't learnt to be ASSERTIVE and feel that we are not worthy to say what we think or we are scared of coming across the wrong way. If you do not speak your mind, you might bottle things up and that can be toxic for you. If you let your bottled up feelings out at a later stage, you might find that you choose the wrong words or tone of voice and then others don't understand you correctly. That is why it is important to speak your mind early enough and in a respectful way for yourself and other people.
Being assertive doesn't mean that you cannot change your mind. You also need to be aware that you shouldn't need the approval of other people all the time. If you don't know what you want and what you don't want, you have the right to think about it and tell the person that you will come back to them later. You have the right to choose if you want to help out or not. Don't always feel obliged to jump in and help.
In summary, see yourself as having RIGHTS, be kind to yourself and speak your mind in a respectful way. Say things early enough that you don't feel overwhelmed by emotions. Try not to over-commit as this might put you into a spot where you feel stuck and overwhelmed.
Assertiveness can increase the quality of relationships with others and will increase your self-esteem tremendously.
Try it out this week. Please email me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za with any feedback or questions.
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